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Task 1 – Bar chart – The percentage of australian men and women

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  • #217350
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    V1528000808180385
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    [6/30/2018, 5:55:11 PM] Cám ơn các bạn!

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    The given bar chart compares the proportion of Australians regarding the gender in the 6 different age groups who involved in physical activities regularly in 2010.
    As an overall trend, the figures for women outnumbered that of men in most of the age groups. In addition, while the women at the age of 45 to 54 participated in physical activities the most regularly, level of participation of men was highest among those aged from 15 to 24.
    Regarding Australian women, only 47,7% of women from 15 to 24 took part in physical activities compared to 52,8% of men at the same group. However, the figure for women gradually increased from that age group onwards and hit the peak at 53,3% with the 45 to 54 group, which was followed by a slight drop towards the two other age groups, accounting for only and 53% and 47,1% among those aged from 55 to 64 as well as 65 and over respectively.
    Turning to the men, the scenario was completely reverse despite its high percentage of participation among 15-24 aged men. The figure kept on decreasing and reached the lowest point at 39,5% when the Australian men were between 35 to 44 years old, significantly fewer than the figure of the women by 13%. However, the percentage of men went up gradually when the men got older and took up at 46,7% with the last age group.

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  • #218658

    IELTS Veteran

    Overall, you did a great job. Keep up the good work!
    Best,
    Linh.

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    • #219248

      IELTS Veteran

      Bạn xem lại giúp mình 2 câu này trong phần Model answer của bạn nhé. Mình nghĩ là ngữ pháp 2 câu này bị sai

      1. With people aged 15 to 24, 52.8% of males took up regular physical activities in 2010, 5.1% higher than that of females. => Câu này thiếu S và V, With people aged 15 to 24, 52.8% of males took up regular physical activities in 2010 mới chỉ là một cụm trạng ngữ thôi.

      2. While the former decreased with age to 39.5% of 38-to 44-year-olds, the latter showed a marginal increase to 52.5% of people in that age group.=> Mình nghĩ phải là While the former decreased to 39.5% with age of 38-to 44-year-olds.

      Bạn giải đáp 2 thắc mắc này giúp mình nhé!!!

      • #219761

        IELTS Veteran

        Hi ban,
        1. => Yup, it should be: With people aged 15 to 24, 52.8% of males took up regular physical activities in 2010, which was 5.1% higher than that of females.
        2. =>Yup, your sentence is correct.
        =>As you know, this is one of model essays you can found easily on the Internet, so some errors can be detected.
        Just be critical in learning, you will get what you deserve.
        Best,
        Linh.

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