IELTS Planet - Học IELTS online

Trang chủ Forums Chữa bài IELTS Writing Chữa Writing 911 Writing task 1 – Internet usage

Writing task 1 – Internet usage

  • Author
    Posts
  • #230532
    Profile photo of My
    My
    Participant

    [8/6/2018, 9:41:09 PM] Cám ơn các bạn!

    ————————-

    The graph shows Internet usage in Taiwan by age group 1998-2000.

    The bar graph indicates changes in Internet usage among four age groups in Taiwan between 1998 and 2000.
    It is clear that users aging from 16-30 years old were the most regular ones while children less than 15 years old represented the minority, which showed a rapid rise during the period.
    Young adults between 16 and 30 years old accounted for more than a half in 1998. The number of users in this group fell slightly to 45% in 1999, but they were still the biggest group in the next year.
    The second dominated group was aged from 31 to 50 years old. They made up 41% in 1998, began to drop steadily in the next two years and reached 37% at the end of the mentioned period.
    Children and the elderly became more crowded during two years. The number of children using the Internet was only 2% in 1998 then increased gradually to make up 9% in 2000. Meanwhile, there was a similar trend with older users. The old going online doubled from 4% to 8% within two first years and continued to grow from 1999 and 2000.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
  • #230963

    IELTS Veteran

    Overall, you did a very beautiful job. Keep it up and you are welcomed on your way to the top!
    Best,
    Linh.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
  • #231060

    IELTS Veteran

    Hi bạn,

    Bạn có thể giải thích thêm cách dùng của “came from” ở comment thứ 3, khi viết “The second dominated group came from” thì phần sau đó mình nên viết thế nào?

    • #231094

      IELTS Veteran

      Hi ban,
      Bạn vẫn giữ nguyên phần của bạn nhé. Đây là phần mình suggestion thêm cho bạn có đa dạng cách thể hiện hơn thôi:
      ->The second dominated group came from people aged 31 to 50 years old
      CÓ nghĩ là nhóm mà đông thứ 2 đến từ những người mà ở độ tuổi 31-50 tuổi.
      Best,
      Linh.

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

IELTS Planet - Học IELTS online 2016