Chữa bài IELTS Task 1

Hi, next time, please upload your essay in a word file with the topic of the task

First thing first, both of your essays are quite too long, to the point where your score might be affected. The recommended length for task 1 is around 150 words. You should have a look at the requirements for each task in the writing section.

Overall, your essay is ok but there are some errors related to your word choices, collocation, word formation, and grammar structures. You should improve those aspects if you want a higher band score.