Chữa bài IELTS Task 2
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Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?
In recent decades, there has been growing trend of advertisements. While this trend can be negative to some extent, I would argue that it is much more positive.
On the one hand, there are several disadvantages of advertising. First, since advertisements usually exaggarate the benefits of products, consumers can be easily swayed by advertising. As a result, consumers are more likely to buy impulsively goods that are unnecessay items, which leads to a waste of consumers’ money. Second, by investing in advertisements that its cost is high, companies may have less money to spend on other essential fields such as a pension scheme or improving working facilities. For example, a myriad of companies use advertising compaigns that involves celebrity endorsements to promote their products, these companies have to pay high salaries for well-known people.
On the other hand, I believe advertising exerts a number of advantages. Firstly, as advertisements can make more consumers know about brands and products, it can allow companies to sell more items, which increases profits. In fact, if without the exsistence of advertising, businesses would suffer losses as their products would not match customers’ needs. In addition, in order to help consumers know more about different brands and products, advertising provides customers with detail information such as prices or functions. Therefore, people can make wider purchasing decisions and sellect the most suitable products, enhancing consumers’ life by using these items.
In conclusion, while advertising has several negative impacts, I believe the benefits of this tendency much greater.
(251 words)[23:59:38, 6/9/2017] Cám ơn các bạn!
Mình có thể thấy là bạn đã tham khảo bài viết của IELTS Ngoc Bach vì nói chung ý và một số cụm từ tương tự. Bạn đã cố gắng paraphrase đi tuy nhiên khi paraphrase lại chỉ để ý đến ngôn ngữ mà không để ý đến tính logic của ý nên cuối cùng, 1 số ít lại trở nên kém liên quan.
Cả bài lặp lại nhiều các từ negative và advantage. Có rất nhiều từ khác để thay thế hai từ này nên bạn hãy cố gắng mở rộng vốn từ nhé.
Đừng chỉ quan tâm đến ngôn ngữ viết mà hãy quan tâm đến tính liên kết giữa các câu các ý các đoạn với nhau và với đề bài nữa nhé.
Mình gửi thêm một bài mẫu khác cho bạn tham khảo:The development of businesses has given rise to the growing number of advertisements that can be seen anywhere, on streets or in the media. In my opinion, this phenomenon could be both positive and negative.
On the one hand, advertising has brought a number of benefits for not only consumers but also businesses. Certainly, advertising provides details about newly launched products, which is important for consumers who are still unaware of such products. In fact, improving quality alone would be less effective if producers failed to commercialize their commodities. Putting it in another way, companies, entrepreneurs for example, spend a great deal of money on publicity materials in order to approach prospective customers. This, in return, generates higher profit and enhances those companies’ competitiveness in the market.
On the other hand, the surge in quantities of commercials exerts several undesirable impacts on customers. First, instead of being well-informed about a new line of product, people are being bombarded with all kinds of advertisements. Those can be either deceptive or annoying; and such information overload has become a nuisance to many people, particularly when their favorite telecasts are constantly interrupted by irrelevant promotions. Second, advertising encourages people to purchase what they do not really need. Images of celebrities are used in many extravagant commercials, especially cosmetics, to stimulate people to purchase products that are being advertised. However, in reality, most of those products are of little use to buyers.
In conclusion, advertisements of various types have become prevalent in modern society; and this is, in my view, advantageous and detrimental as well.
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