Chữa bài IELTS Task 2
updated 9 years, 4 months ago
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Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Hi Khanh,
My name is Nhu. Please find attached below your essay corrected by me. If you have any concerns about my correction, please do not hesitate to leave me feedbacks. Thank you very much for joining us. Hope to receive your next essays. Good luck!Nice to meet you!
Thanks for your corrected essay. I appreciate your time but I want to ask you some questions. Please reply to me. I very thank you because I really need to improve my Writing skills to prepare for my job.
Q1: “a double major” or “a double majors”?
Q2: In the sixth comment, u replaced “fortune” by “objectives”. I think it is not relevant. Besides, this is one of ideas I have read in Ngoc Bach’s essay.
Q3: Why not “above reasons” in the last paragraph.^^
Q4: According to me, a lot of effort not efforts because effort is a countable noun. Do u agree??
Q5: Could u explain why u add the word “his” in the line 7, paragraph 2.Thank u again :)
Hi Khanh,
About your questions, I would like to answer them as following:
Q1: I have to apologize for this. Yes, ” a double major” is right in this sentence because this is referred to one person that is Nick Vujicic.
Q2: I think you used ” fortune” here is not suitable because “fortune” is the synonym for ” luck”. You cannot write it like” luck only contributes to short-term luck”. Yes, I also found this idea in an essay band 8.0+ written by Tu Pham, but he wrote that ” Another clear reason for my belief is that luck could only lead people to
short-term achievements”. You can find that essay in this link for more details http://scholarshipplanet.info/check/4252/ielts-writing-task-2015-whether-not-someone-achieves-their-aims-mostly-question-luck. I think the reason for this mistake is that you did not paraphrase this idea in Ngoc Bach’ essay in the right way.
Q3: ” with above reasons” is not commonly used in essay. You can use ” for the reasons I mentioned above” or something simple like ” for these reasons” instead.
Thank you very much.Q3: Effort is both uncountable and uncountable with difference in meaning. As a uncountable noun, it means physical or mental energy. And as a countable noun, it means an attempt to do sth. In this essay, you wrote ” he made an effort”. This expression is not wrong, but I think it’s better to emphasize his achievements by using ” a lot of efforts”.
Q4: Your sentence is not wrong. But I think by adding ” his” there, you pointed out more clearly for the reader that Nick Vujicic is the man who does not have 4 limbs.Q1: Could u let me know in which situation we can use “double majors”?
Q2: Indeed, I agree with u that “fortune” is the synonym for “luck”. I rewrote the whole sentence of Mr, Bach. But in this essay, he might be a bit of confusion ^^
Q4: a lot of effort with the meanings “an attempt to do sth”. I also read in the vocabulary of Mr. Bach :). And those sentence are “attain means to succeed in getting sth, usually after a lot of effort” and “motivational means making Sb want to do Sth, especially Sth which requires a lot of effort”. How is your opinion? Please let me know.By the way, I have a question. As I have learned, in the introduction of task 2, we should express our view clearly.
Topic 1:
“Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do u agree or disagree?”Simon’s Introduction : Many young people work on a volunteer basis, and this can only be beneficial for both the individual and society as a whole. However, I do not agree that we should therefore force all teenagers to do unpaid work.
Then he expressed full view.Topic 2:
“Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. Do u agree or disagree?”Ngoc Bach’s Introduction: Many people choose to become vegetarians since a vegetarian diet is believed to be better for the human body. Although I agree that eating only plant foods provides us with a healthier diet, I do not believe that everyone should stop eating meat in order to enjoy good health.”
Then he expressed partial view.I think two introductions I have posted are the same structures, but why one is full view while another is partial view. When can we express each kind of view?
Thank u so so much.
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