[Vuong Minh]

Please help me correct this essay an forcus on Task Response and GR and Accuracy. They are my weekness.
If u can, please re-write my sentences and comment how i can do do boost this essay to band 6.5+
Nhân tiện chỉ ra mấy cái e thiểu or sai để đc band 7 ở tiêu chí đó nha a. VD ở tiêu chí GR and Accuray e dùng câu phức/ ghép ổn chưa có đa dạng k ạ……. E cảm ơn các anh chị nhiều lắm
Love u 3000 thanks Ielts Plannet.

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Research shows that business meetings, discussions and training are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? ( 20/01/2018)
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It is believed that computer-based meetings and training sessions are becoming increasingly prevalent thanks to the proliferation of Internet in recent years. Although this trend is not without disadvantages, I would argue that the benefits are more significant.
On the one hand, there are two major drawbacks of organizing online meetings, discussions and trainings that many companies may confront. First, a meeting process depends heavily on the connection of Internet, which may be a hindrance as there might be failures in the flow of information. For example, not many Vietnamese people are able to afford to high-speed internet connection, therefore lagging connection and computer crashing can cause disruptions and bring the entire ongoing communication to an abrupt end. Second, lack of supervisions of professionals and face-to-face interactions may lead to undesired misundertanding in many guidances and instructions which employees have learned from online training programs. The implication of this is that not only the productivity but also the improvement of these trainers may be deteriorated.
On the other hand, from my perspective, there are lots of merits of such a trend. One prominent advantage is the cost-effectiveness of online conferences and training sessions. In fact, in order to establish a physical meeting, companies may have to incur several types of finances, ranging from electricity, conference papers to costs for meeting rooms or conference venues. Such unnecessary expenses now can be eliminated thanks to these online programs, contributing tremendously to the companies’ reduced overhead costs. Another significant benefit is that this trend may help save time on travelling, especially when it comes to multi-national corporations. An excellent example is that a founder of a company does not need any long-haul flights to see his overseas partner to discuss their business development stratergies, which leads to a sense of convenience and comfort.
In conclusion, although virtual meetings and trainings are beneficial in some ways, it seems to me that this trend’s disadvantages are eclipsed its advantages.

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[Vuong Minh]

Sorry. This is my final essay. Correct this not the essay above. Thansk a lot.
E cam on nhieu a.

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[chrisnguyen7496]

Kindly Check.
– bài essay của bạn rất tốt: về mặt Ideas thì logic, vocabulary tốt và grammar cũng được controlled khá tốt trong suốt cả bài
– Tuy nhiên: bạn cần chú ý hơn về các lỗi spelling/typing để tránh bị mất điểm
– Mình tin nếu bạn giữ phong độ này thì bài writing của bạn hoàn toàn có thể đạt được target 7.0.
Very good essay. Thank you.

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