Chữa Writing 911
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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many people differ that whether or not high school students take unpaid community service. Some are in favour of the opinion that this should belong to high school students. It is necessary to incorporate activities like working for a charity as a volunteer or improving the neighbourhood into official programme. In my opinion, I go along with this viewpoint.
It is evident that doing unpaid community service brings about numerous benefits to students. Firstly, it is considerably a golden opportunity for them to enhance necessary skills such as problem-solving skill and make a change on their mindset. For example, if students are allowed to be responsible for teaching English to small children in far-flung corners, they will be aware of social circumstances in their country and study how to sympathize with the poor. Secondly, they are likely to be familiar with value of money as well as satisfy with what they have. Hence, doing unpaid activity is strongly believed to make a profound impact on shaping their personality in the long run.
In addition, high school students could become a role model in the future if they frequently take part in services towards community. They possibly encounter meaningful activities to get various worthwhile experiences. For instance, working for an international charitable organization is a chance so that students contribute to help impoverished people. What is more, through involving in social activities, they tend to have mental development in a positive way.
In conclusion, engaging in community service assist students to develop crucial skills, get the grasp of social circumstances. As a result, they would sympathize with others. In my judgement, doing unpaid service should be an official part in the curriculum at high school as it would promote significantly the students’ growth.[06:18:41, 3/10/2017] Cám ơn các bạn!
Sample answer không liên quan gì tới cái đề hết bạn ơi.
Dear learner,
Our sincere apology for including an irrelevant sample answer. Please find the attached your corrected essay with the suitable sample answer.
Kind regards
IELTS Planet.
– BB13: cấu trúc bạn đưa ra mình nghĩ là hơi bình thường, nó khá phổ biến, vậy có cấu trúc nào khác hay hơn ko ạ?
Dear learner,
We hope you understand the fact that it is always better if you can apply basic structures accurately rather than forcing yourself to use complex ones by merely making the sentences look longer and complicated. This would be counted as your limited capacity for a concise essay. The purpose of the writing task is to test candidates’ ability to present a comprehensive argument for a topic. Therefore, as long as readers understand your ideas and points, you are considered capable of using English language to communicate. Clear and concise arguments are hence always much more preferred than lengthy sentences with no clear thoughts in a clause.
Regarding vocabulary use, “a chance for somebody to do something” itself is actually an academic structure already compared to basic structures of using “be able to/can do something”. Yet you can enrich the idea by using an adjective: a(n) ideal/excellent/wonderful/brilliant chance. “opportunity” would be a more advanced acadmeic word with the same meaning of “chance”. Otherwise, you can also use “provides students with an ideal opportunity” or “enables students to contribute to…”
We hope the above suggestions are of any good use for you.
Kind regards
IELTS Planet.
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